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In Search for the Perfect Shake

Following the development of the Perfect Protein PancakeTM, I have been dedicated to the task of developing the Perfect Protein ShakeTM.

You see, once upon a time, when I started working out, I used to go to the Clarendon Gold's Gym, where they had this fantabulous smoothie bar, in which one could get the most astounding protein shakes.

That was my first encounter of the protein kind with this sort of beverage, and needless to say, I was hooked.

Alas, it was not to last.

First of all, a different Gold's was opened by our place, making our workouts much more accessible. In short, great gym, no smoothie bar.

To top it all, the Clarendon Gold's succumbed to the development frenzy in the area, was demolished and in its place a set of new luxury condos was built.

Clarendon Gold's is reopening soon in its new, improved, reincarnation. I don't know whether or not they will have a smoothie bar. I do hope so, since those things rock.

Now, that is the good news about protein shakes. Sadly, my next encounter was with powdered mixes to make at home which, no matter how good they look, or how enticing their names are (Mint-Chocolate Delight, for example), they all taste like a liquid version of Dwarf Bread.

(Those of you, Discworld fans, will know what I am talking about when I refer to Dwarf Bread.)

(Okay, dwarf bread is the kind of food that, if you are in the middle of the desert and starving to death, you will only need to take a look at it, and the very thought of having to actually eat it will encourage you to continue dragging yourself to the next center of civilization.)

Hence, my quest began.

After much experimenting, and a dogged determination of "I shall make tasty smoothies like those at Gold's, dammit!" I am happy to announce that I have come up with a concoction involving frozen bananas, skim milk and chocolate flavored Designer Whey protein powder.


This thing is definitely promising.

Now, if I could find a decent ready to drink (RTD) shake to take to the office, I would be a happy belfebe.

So far, all the ones I have tried still taste like liquid dwarf bread, and I am not sure that there is anything good out there that will give me the protein intake I need without making me gag. The least yucky, as far as I am concerned, has turned out to be Myoplex Lite. The worst, Met-RX 50.

Of course, Ensure tastes pretty darned good, but it also has 22 grms of sugar.

So here is my plea fellow bodybuilders and gym rats. What is your experience with RTD's? Anything nutritious that doesn't taste like sh*t?

Buehler? Buehler?


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 1st, 2006 09:20 pm (UTC)
"designer" whey protein powder? What makes it designer, or should I not ask...? (I'm having this mental image of little packets of powder in exciting plaid and paisley print envelopes, reminiscent of fancy upholstry fabrics...)
Aug. 1st, 2006 09:25 pm (UTC)
I wish! :-D

Nah, Designer Whey is just the brand name, and it comes in cardboard cans, pretty much like your regular oatmeal. It is really good, actually, unlike the others I've tried which are really nasty.
Aug. 1st, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
sadly, the best stuff on the market appears to not be available in the States :(

its a canadian product called PVL Whey Gourmet, and it's the only stuff i've found that doesn't taste like chalk. ask matthew - when mixed with milk (or in my case, unsweetened soy milk) the Arctic Frappucino and the Oreo Cookie flavours taste like Dairy Queen Blizzards :). there are a number of chocolate versions, some fruit smoothie flavours, and "chiller"/"cooler" lines meant to be mixed with water.

i buy them at GNCs (General Nutrition Centres) here in ontario. we'll have a couple of different flavours with us at pennsic, iff'n you'd like to try some.
Aug. 1st, 2006 10:06 pm (UTC)
If Amazon.com carries them, then *somebody* has to have them in the US. If only Amazon :)
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
Just checked. Amazon does carry them. I'll check my local GNC as well. Thanks for the tip!
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I'd love to try them. Even if they are not available in the US, maybe I can get them online :-D
Aug. 1st, 2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
For shakes, we're *really* happy with PVL Brand 'Whey Gourmet'. GNC carries it here, I expect it would in DC too.

It's not ready to drink, it's a powder. but in a blender or in a sealed container if mixes well and is yummy. Like dessert kind of yummy.

Looks like this
Aug. 2nd, 2006 12:40 am (UTC)
I went through puberty in my best friend's dad's olympic weight lifting gym amidst pictures of russian weight lifting stars. I used to eat hoffman cookies, which are really, really bad. Back in the day, protein shake meant raw eggs, ice cream, banana, a scoop of your basic chalk powder whey based protein and anything else you had handy that might get the stuff in you, including chocolate sauce. Now, I don't do milk products. I buy the house brand soy protein and put frozen fruit (like peaches, raspberries, blue berries), 1/2 a banana and a teaspoon of flax seed meal. The berries sort of hide the grit from the flax seed meal with enough ice and soy milk to get the right texture - sort of about the texture of the underlayment for plaster walls. Although of late, I have gotten rather fond of putting dulce de leche (from goat milk - slightly better on my tummy) in soy milk, which sort of blows both the sugar and the fat content, but it's pretty good.
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the recipe! This will be very helpful in my Quest for the Tasty Protein Shake! :-D
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:40 am (UTC)
If you like Ensure you could try a drink called Glucerna .It is similar supplement to Ensure but made more for diabetics so is a lot less sugar.
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC)
That definitely sounds promising as RTD's go. I was looking for that :-D
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:00 pm (UTC)
I use the whey from Vitamin World. I've got a card, get a rebate, and receive advance notice of their BOGO days, so I never pay more than 50% of retail. For all that, I like the strawberry and the vanilla is ok, too. They just changed their flavoring, so it's now Wild Strawberry (slightly stronger flavor) and the packaging, so the 5 pound jugs no longer have handles on them and are not as convenient to carry home. With 8 ounces of 1% milk, it's 217 calories, 16.8 grams of carbs, 27.8 grams of protein. One scoop with water (I don't reccommend it) is 90 calories, 3 grams of carbs and 18 grams protein. But that's not a lot of carbs in the powder by itself.
Aug. 2nd, 2006 01:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I have noticed that one scoop with water doesn't taste as good as one scoop with skim milk. Thanks for the tip!
Aug. 2nd, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC)
I have to ask the obvious question:

Why not make the yummy shake at home, freeze it and bring it to work with you? After an hour sitting on your desk it should be drinklable, right?
Aug. 2nd, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
I haven't tried that. Usually it sits about 2 hours, so I am not certain how it will go. I'll give it a shot (but it's not as yummy as a fresh one, and in the case of the ones containing banana it may get black).
Aug. 2nd, 2006 04:42 pm (UTC)
If it turns black, then may I recommend opaque containers??
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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