But I digress.
I have decided to have fun this weekend.
I have decided that I am not going to be freaking out or killing myself trying to do everything. Particularly trying to do everything at the same time.
Soooo, my new rapier garb is not finished and will not be by tomorrow. On the other hand, whenever it is finished, it will be a nifty, entirely hand-stitched garment.
(In the meantime, you will have to put up with belfebe in her old squeaky codpiece outfit. So there.)
Padded coifs: I only finished the one prototype, so no merchanting will happen this weekend. Oh well, there will be other events where this can happen so no big deal.
I want this weekend to be as relaxed as it can be under the present circumstances. I want it to be fun and I want to be there because this is what I do for a hobby and not for a job. I will have fun, dammit.
Even if it kills me.
And speaking of killing, I went to fencing practice last night and had a very good time. Perhaps it is because I am taking a much more Zen attitude towards rapier these days, and a more methodical approach.
For one thing, we have continued with the "Watch and Comment" exercises, only this time involving everyone else at the practice. We have the theory that it not only takes away the stress of trying to demostrate that you are bigger and better than everyone else, but it also gives you actual, useful feedback while playing both at practice and at tournament speeds. It also helps the "watchers" train their eye and learn how to observe their opponents styles, advantages and flaws, and provide constructive criticism.
All in all a "win, win" situation for all.
As a result, I don't feel as out of groove as I did a month ago. I am still not where I want to be, not even close, but at least I feel that I am going somewhere.
At any rate, my plan for tomorrow's tournament is to continue my training. I must confess, tournaments stress me out like nobody's business. However, tournaments are also an essencial part of training and not to be avoided.
Rule number one of life is Be There. If I do great, that will be a wonderful rush and a sense of accomplishment. If I don't do great, I can always use the information gathered and chalk it up to experience. If I do poorly, it can be a good exercise in reminding myself that we all have good and bad days and that I will have the chance to do better next time.
So what will it be?
Who knows, but I am not going to lose sleep over it.
Life is too short, and there are more important things to worry about.
See you at Sapphire!