So here we go...
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff: Before this season, I had no clue who J.R. Martinez was. Well, I just found out that he is the DWTS current soap opera star cast member, who plays a part in "All my Children." He is also a very different soap star from the ones we are used to. According to Wikipedia, in 2003, he sustained severe burns to over 40 percent of his body while serving as a United States Army infantryman in Iraq. Following his recovery, he has traveled around the country speaking about his experiences to corporations, veterans groups, schools, and other organizations. All I have to say that despite his scarred appearance, he is a lovely man who irradiates positivism. And, on top of everything, he can dance! I am soooo rooting for him! (Beautiful waltz by the way.)
Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani: Well, it was about time that Papa Bear got a partner who can give him a chance to the Mirror Ball trophy. They did a great job with that waltz, and they topped the leader board along with JR and Karina. I can see them going far.
Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Oh, Maksie Pooh! Good to see you back! For a moment there, we thought you would take the season off. (Please don't scare us like that!) You and Hope make the perfect pair, and you're great at training athletes. Although I suspect that she may indeed be more athletic than you. But we still love you. If you can get that girl to dance gracefully, you may have a shot at the finals. She's got everything she needs. And she's got you.
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough: Derek is back y'all! And ready to kick but too! His and Ricki's routine showed off his impeccable skills as a choreographer and a teacher. However, this year he has a lot of competition from other fronts. Ricky is enthusiastic, and she aspires to be the Kirstie Alley of this season. Whether that will be enough to carry her to the end remains to be seen.
Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas: Kristin Cavallari wants you to know that she's not a bitch. So there. At any rate, the girl smoked her cha-cha, and I think that she will be a contender. Her greatest asset and greatest detriment though, is called Mark "Look at Me" Ballas. Yes, Mark is a great choreographer. Yes, he is a great instructor. However, unlike Derek, he is not very good at showcasing his partners. It's all about "Watch me Mama! No hands!" Which is sad. If he stopped being so annoying and started showcasing his partners, he would not get booted earlier than he should. We shall see what happens this season.
David Arquette and Kym Johnson: Oh, David! You are so awesome! I suspect that he can be the Donny Osmond of this season. And his fan club included his ex-wife, Courtney Cox; his adorable little girl, Coco; and Pee-Wee Herman(?). (Oh, please, someone bring Pee Wee onboard for next season! I'd soooo watch that!) He and Kym smoked their waltz. I don't think he's going anywhere for a long time. Here's to hope.
Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer: Ya know? I wasn't sure what to expect from these two, but I have to say that they were adorable. I know, adorable and Chaz are not two words that you expect to read in the same sentence. But that's exactly what it was. Is he a great dancer? Absolutely not. But then, neither are some of the other contestants. On the other hand, he has an endearing quality that may keep him on board longer than anyone will expect. Stay tuned.
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya: Carson Kressley, I adore you! No other contestant has embraced the whole ridiculeness of the show with more gusto than Carson. (If you wonder who he is, just remember "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.") Plus he has the amazing Ana Trebunskaya by his side. These two may end up being the Dark Horse couple that wins the competition in the end. They have my vote, at any rate. And that's that.
Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus: Nancy Grace was a surprise. No, she is not a good dancer. I'd say that she is correctly there at the bottom of the barrel. But she came across as surprisingly likeable, and she's got Tristan "New Guy" MacManus. He is Irish, with a thick brogue (third comes across as "turd"), and a wicked sense of humor. I think that she may hang in there just because it would be like voting for your excentric aunt and because we want to see more of Tristan.
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke: Oh, good gravy! Can this man be more annoying? And no, I don't think that he's annoying because he's a Kardashian. He's annoying because he's a boob. (A koob?) He behaves like a spoiled high-schooler and treats Cheryl like his personal property. Not that Cheryl puts up with that, but you can see the underlying annoyance. Plus he can't dance. Someone give that kid the boot, and pronto!
Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy: Oh, Elisabetta! I don't think that even Val's hotness will be able to save you from elimination this week, or maybe next one! You may be hot, may have a hot partner, and both of you may have cute accents, but you girl have committed the biggest sin of Dancing with the Stars. No, it's not your lack of dance ability. The capital sin of DWTS is being BORING. Yes, in capitals. You can get away with being a terrible dancer (Billy Ray Cirus anyone?), but you can't get away with putting everyone to sleep. Here's my prediction: Good bye Elisabetta. We hardly knew ye...
Ron Artest and Peta Murgatroyd: Oh, Ron Artest! I crided for you! No, you are not a great dancer. You're not even a good one. But at least you are enthusiastic and entertaining. I believe you were robbed. Not that you belonged on the top of the leaderboard, but I think that Elisabetta and Rob did a worse job than you. I do hope that your basketball fans pull you through this week. Here's crossing my fingers...
So, my precious readers, I am not going to ask you who do you think is going home tonight on a survey - although we can discuss it in the comments section. I am hoping it's Elisabetta or Rob. Instead, this survey is about who your top five were based on last night's performances. Click away and have fun!
Who were your favorite 5 last night?
J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff
Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani
Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Ricki Lake and Derek Hough
Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas
David Arquette and Kym Johnson
Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer
Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya
Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus
Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy
Ron Artest and Peta Murgatroyd