December 16th, 2005

Death-Neil Gaiman


No, I am not going to complain about being really busy. I know that at this time of year I am in very good company, as everyone is rushing to get everything taken care of at work before the end of the year.

Suffice to say that, thanks to relatively bad weather and it being a Friday, the usual madness in this place has abated a little bit.

Thank God for small favors.

So I have been dubbed a hamster of unusuall skill. This because, lately, I have taken to going home and dabble on building webpages as a way to relax. Next thing I know, I will be running inside a hamster wheel . . .

"Dear Santa,

I want a hamster wheel that has an Ipod integrated so I can dance while I run. A laptop that can move while I dance would be nice too.

Oh, and don't forget chocolate. There must be some form of chocolate dispenser in my hamster-wheel.

I have been a really good girl, and I hope that you can bring me this one thing.

Sincerely Yours,

Secret Squirrel

PS. I have left milk and cookies next to the Christmas tree just for you.

PPS. Also beer and potato chips with french onion dip just in case."

But I digress . . .

Or maybe I am just losing my mind . . .

Anywhoo, we were having this conversation about jeans the other day. Specifically, how clothing manufacturer's for women's clothes seem to design stuff made only for women who have no butts.

Either that or for men who like to dress like women.

Yeah, I think that they are designing for drag queens and young nubile, underdeveloped girls that live in Pluto, not real people who live here in Planet Earth.

A particularly amusing ad is that of The Gap. They have come up with a most revolutionary notion: The Curvy Fit. If you go to their site, you will find it under the Jeans Section.

It reads: "You'll want to try this if your wais is smaller than your hips."

Imagine that. A female with a butt bigger than her waist. Unbelievable!

I am sure that they are going to make a killing. There are literally thousands of fashion-disenfranchised women like me looking for clothes that actually fit.

Particularly jeans.

I have a dream.

I dream with a pair of jeans that, if the butt fits, it don't leave a 3 inch gap at my waist.

I dream with a pair of jeans that I don't have to secure with a belt so my underwear does not show up. (Unless it's a thong and I am trying to go Va-Va-Voom! with Marcellus.)

I dream with a pair of jeans that I can pull further than my thighs if the waist size is correct.

I think I will pay a visit to the Gap.
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