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Well, forget that. I don't think that we'd be able to put a man on the moon these days, but still. Here's the story.

So last Wednesday ballistabob and I hop in the car and go to the gym. It is 5:45 a.m. and we notice that the boys have forgotten to take out the trash. Wednesdays are trash days, and the trash can is supposed to be at the curb no later than 6 a.m. Of course, we are running late and we don't have time to take it out ourselves or even yell at the guys to get their asses out of bed and take care of that. Oh, well.

At 7:15 a.m. we come back and the garbage truck has not picked up anyone's trash yet. Hooray! We put it out, and get inside to take a shower and have breakfast. By the time we get out of the house, the garbage truck has still not picked up the trash. (This is not unusual. They usually show up at around 9.)

In the afternoon, I notice that the trash can is back in it usual place, but that a bright green cardboard tag is hanging from the handle, tied with a neat little string bow. The card, a pre-printed form reads:

We are sorry, but we could not pick up your trash. Reason: Garbage can was not at the curb before 6:00 a.m.

I peek inside the can and, sure enough, the trash is still there.

Okay, at that point I realize that I should be upset, but instead, I burst out laughing.

Explain this to me. First of all, how did you know that my trash was not at the curb before 6 a.m.? Second, you didn't have time to empty the can into the garbage truck, but you took the pain of attaching a little green card, and check in the box for "Not at the curb before 6 a.m." (In blue ink.)

I wonder if they have the neighborhood squirrels in their payroll. Little bastards are ratting on me, and I bet they're making a mint in acorns.

Or maybe peanuts.

Do squirrels like peanuts?

I bet that there is a secret tunnel under my house where the little varmints are swimming in nuts doing their best Uncle Scrooge impersonation.

I wonder if I can bribe them . . .

Now, where did I leave those walnuts?



( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 11th, 2009 05:05 pm (UTC)
I wonder if you could stake a little waste bin in your yard next to the curb, then just walk the can out to them when they show up?
May. 11th, 2009 05:19 pm (UTC)
Nope. :-(

Our neighborhood is very laid back in general, but trashcans is something that is very much regulated. They are large, wheeled cans with a handle. They are provided by our waste company. Also, the garbage truck doesn't show up usually until about 9 a.m. If I waited for them, I'd have to be late for work.

I have never had a problem with them not picking my trash, and I've put it in the curb after 6 many times before. That's why I found it amusing this time. :-)
May. 11th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
too bad that doesn't work for tourneys. "I'm sorry, but you were not inspected before 9am so you have to forfeit this match. Have a nice day."~little green sticker gets slapped to forehead~
May. 11th, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
I know some rapier fighters on whom I would love to slap that sticker!
May. 11th, 2009 05:25 pm (UTC)
Nooo! You're kidding?!!??

That's just TOO crazy...
May. 11th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
I kid you not. It was like right out of the Twightlight Zone. It was also the first time something like this happened. I've done it before and they've always picked up my trash.

I'm telling you. The squirrels are ratting on me!
May. 11th, 2009 06:01 pm (UTC)
Are you serious? They freakin' CARE if your trash is to the curb BEFORE 6am?!? They should be happy it's out there before the trash collectors get there - period!

And I thought that OUR HOA had some pretty silly rules . . . .
May. 11th, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
They usually don't. That's why this time it was so weird.
May. 11th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
Actually, we don't have a HOA. This was put on by the trash people themselves - which just adds to the weirdness...
May. 12th, 2009 02:23 am (UTC)
It's all the squirrels fault, I'm telling you.

Damn squirrels.
May. 11th, 2009 10:43 pm (UTC)
That's hilarious...
May. 12th, 2009 02:04 am (UTC)
Thank you very much *Bows*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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