(Don't try calling me on a Tuesday night during American Idol season. Chances are I won't pick up the phone.)
(And if I do, you'd better have a very good reason for interrupting my show. Like your pants are on fire or something like that.)
At any rate, I will start by stating the obvious. Is Paula Abdul on crack? I sure hope so. It would be scary to think that this is the way she is when she's sober. Randy, on the other hand, is getting rather boring and trite with his usual "Dawg" comments. To be honest, these days I am simply writing off whatever it is that those two have to say and wait for Simon to make his comments.
The truth be said, I agree with Simon more times than not. I also do not believe that telling people "You did great!" when they really sucked helps anyone improve at all.
But I digress . . .
1. Mandisa: She is one of my favorites and I do hope that she makes it to the finals. She is consistently good and last night she brought the house down with her rendition of "I Don't Hurt Anymore." And I don't know who's doing her hair and makeup, but she looks terrific.
2. Bucky Covington: Shoot me, shoot me now. The poor thing is just as good as your average Karaoke singer. Don't get me wrong, I am a big country music fan, but he ain't no country star, let me tell you that much. He's funny and cute if you don't pay attention to the bad teeth and the bad hair. I am afraid that he won't last long. (Or one can only hope.)
3. Paris Bennett: Damn kid is a musical phenomenon. If she just managed to be a leeetle less annoying she would be fine.
4. Chris Daughtry: He's my favorite. He's better than good, he's great. Perhaps it is that I am a sucker for tock singers. I suspect that he will be in the finals, make no mistake. He even managed to sing Johnny Cash's "Walk the Line" and make it into a rock version of it. Of couse, Chris is no Cash, but then no one is. On the other hand, he is very good at making rock versions of anything. Ballistabob and I were joking last night. It seems that his tag is "Country tunes? I'll make them rock tunes! 50's tunes? I'll make them rock tunes! Looney Toons? I'll make them rock tunes!" And he makes such a great job of it . . .
5. Katharine McPhee: There's another one who I think will make it to the finals. She's got a voice like nobody's business and a professional pressence to boot.
6. Taylor Hicks: The silver-haired guy. He does have a great voice and he is funny and he's different. However, he still looks like a drunken dad singing at a wedding and dances like Senfield's Elaine. I will miss him when he's voted off . . .
7. Lisa Tucker: She's doing a very good job for a 16 year old, and has a nice voice. I don't think that she will last though. She doesn't have that "Wow" factor that will keep her in the show. I must confess that I find her performances a bit boring.
8. Kevin Covais: Also nicknamed "Chicken Little." He's not going to win the competition, but he has done a good job of singing in tune and being a good sport. He's adorable in an "underdoggy" sort of way. The fact that the website www.votefortheworst.com has adopted him may help to keep him in the competition longer than he would otherwise have.
9. Elliot Yamin: Of all the contestants, I find him to be the most boring one. Seldom someone has been able to give such a brilliant performance and yet keep everyone yawning. I suspect -- or hope -- that he'll also be gone soon.
10. Kelly Pickler: Argh. How far can you go doing the "dumb blonde" skit? She's got a good voice, but I think that she'll get increasingly -- and cloyingly -- annoying as time goes by. Some people think that she may win. My take? If you want blonde and cloying, we already have Carrie Underwood, who actually sings better than Kelly and who has the kind of Barbie doll quality that will keep her in the limelight for a while.
11. Ace Young: Karaoke at its best. The boy is good looking and sweet, and in a previous incarnation of American Idol he might have a chance of lasting longer. I am not sure that he's good enough to pull that stunt this time. Then again, the show still has a ways to go and there may be many surprises in store.
So that's it for today.
Remember, this is only my opinion. Things are never what they look like, and funny stuff always happens in the way to the Forum.
And now, back to the salt mines.