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Of Wolves and Swans

ballistabob has the theory that there are two main types of mammas out there.

The first one, he dubs the "Swan Mamma." This type of mamma has all her little chicks around her, following her in a neat little row, and she teaches them to swim accordingly, in a neat little row behind her, feeds them, and fusses after them. It is a good approach, and very organized. In general, produces very good results.

The second one is the "Wolf Mom," who tell her cubs "You're hugry? Okay, see those squirrels over there? Go hunt them like I showed you the other day. Let me know how it went." If they go hungry here and there, well, life's a bitch and the sooner you figure that out the better. It also produces very good results, if handled carefully. (You still have to be nurtruring!)

There is value in those two approaches to Mommahood, but he believes that I belong to the second category.

At any rate, as you may recall, El Brato mentioned the other day that he was considering going to culinary school. My response was that in order to do that some conditions would have to be met. One of them would be for him to finish his current semester, included the dreaded Math, which is the bane of his existence.

Now, the Brato is not the most diligent student out there. His first year at College has been . . . interesting to say the least. However, he's managed to pass mostly everything.

Except for Math.

Well, for the past week he has been rather dedicated to his stuff, and last night I found his math book with loads of finished homework on top of the dining room table.

"You doing homework?" I ask. (This is a rather rare occurence in this household.)


"Math homework?"


"So," I say. "You are you and what have you done with my kid?"

"Heh," he chuckles. "You gotta do what you gotta do."

It seems that the drive for culinary school is kicking in.

To be honest, I don't know whether culinary school will be the best thing for him or not. However, if this is what it takes for him to realize that you "gotta do what you gotta do" in order to get what you want, it is really welcome.

And who knows? Maybe he'll like it and stick with it. Whether or not he is successful in this (or any other) endeavor is entirely up to him. After all, you only live once. If you succeed, cool beans. If not, well, as long as you are alive and have your health, you can always try something else.

In the meantime, he's learning the value of doing what you need in order to get what you want.

Momma Wolf cannot ask for much more.

PS. I just got a birthday call at work from Jeffrey the Giraffe from Toys R' Us. Apparently they believe I have a small child at home. Go figure. My life is full of bizarre happenings.

PPS. One of these days I will even post about my experience with 1-800-LAURELS



( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 10th, 2008 04:36 pm (UTC)
I guess I tend towards wolfness. Gosling #1 wanted a pet rabbit. I told her to write me a report on the needed care and feeding of said rabbit, the name, address and phone number of a rabbit capable vet, and what physical habitat was required. Over time, I repeated these requirements whenever she mentioned her desire, and then put the whole thing out of my mind. If she wanted it bad enough, she'd do it. If not, then it was not my problem. Never did get around to that report.
Apr. 10th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love it! What a great approach!
Apr. 10th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
A young friend of mine wanted a snake. On her own she pulled together a report with visual aids on snake care and reputable snake breeders and cost of snakes and snake keeping supplies.

She got the snake. And she did take very good care of it until she became a teenager and started having other interests. Now an adult friend of mine who is allergic to fuzzy critters has the snake.
Apr. 10th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
I think this was my most successful use of natural consequences. I was very pleased with myself too, since I really just let it go.
Apr. 10th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Count me amongst the wolf mamas! (It may be one of the reasons behind the kidlet learning to cook. If she's cooking she can cook food she likes, rather than having to eat what I'm willing to fix.)

One of my buds, asim posted these today and it just my be helpful.

Seven Traits of Successful People

* Successful people know what they want
* Successful people don’t just think, they act
* Successful people have insatiable hunger for knowledge
* Successful people are curious and are not afraid to experiment
* Successful people build their networks
* Successful people are passionate about what they do
* Successful people are persistent and patient

There's a link with an article as well, but just these things can help you focus. If you don't know what you want, I figure it's the experimental stage; give things a try until you find something you like.
Apr. 10th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
Amen sister!

And thanks for the Seven Traits. It does make a lot of sense :-)

Apr. 10th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC)
My mamma was the "suck-it-up-and-deal" version of the Wolf mamma. "If you don't like it - tough. Suck it up and Deal."

In spite of my organizational ability, I have alot in common with my mamma ;-)
Apr. 10th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
Actually, the "suck it up and deal" can be used by both. Swans can be particularly fierce. (Have you ever seen those guys! Scary!)

It is simply two different approaches to mommahood.
Apr. 10th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
This is very off-topic, sorry!
I seem to recall that you had an article, or a class, or something, about reed-boned corsetry. (I wanted to point a friend to it, since I know very little about late-period stuff and she's planning to make a corset soon….) I went and poked around your website and didn't see anything, though.

Am I thinking of the wrong person entirely? Or is it there, and I'm just missing it? (Each is equally possible….)

Thank you!!

Apr. 10th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
Re: This is very off-topic, sorry!
Hmmmm . . . I have posted here frequently about reed boned corsetry, but I haven't written an article on it.

Isobel Beddingfield has taught a class on corsetry, and you are probably remembering that. She has a pattern that goes with the class and explains how to put it together. You may want to drop her a line :-)

As for reeds, one of my most beloved bodices is boned with broom bristles. That was a Kate Maunsel idea, which came from someone else. The thing is, people used what was available, and broom bristles are not that different from grass reeds. Plus it's readily available and really comfy.

At any rate, Isobel does have an excellent article (in two parts) on corsetry in her webpage, Extreme Costuming

There is also an interesting article by Alina Silverthorne, here, and of course, Jen Thompson's excellent article on boning with hemp cording in her page, Festive Attyre.

Hope this helps :-)
Apr. 10th, 2008 09:59 pm (UTC)
Re: This is very off-topic, sorry!
Thank you so much - I must have gotten my people/articles confused, but this helps a lot!
Apr. 10th, 2008 09:41 pm (UTC)
There are two excellent culinary schools in Atlantia that my sister-in-law was looking into.

BIC and JWU. One is in Baltimore, the other is in N.C.

Good for him "manning up". I need to figure out how to get my kids to step up on some of their stuff. Of course, the oldest is 10, so I do have a little bit of time...
Apr. 11th, 2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
Johnson & Wales University is in Charleston, SC. Tyler Florence, a chef who has has several shows on the Food Network (Food 911, Tyler's Ultimate, etc.) is a graduate.
Apr. 11th, 2008 02:00 pm (UTC)
Excellent! Thank you for the leads.

As for the kids to do their stuff, it's a struggle. It gets worse with adolescence, but it is likely to get better as they leave adolescence behind.

As an old friend of mine used to say, "Adolescence is an illness that affects the entire family until it's over." :-)
Apr. 10th, 2008 10:52 pm (UTC)
Even if he doesn't stick with it as a career, men who cook rock. :)
Apr. 11th, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC)
Yeah, he is convinced that learning how to cook is a good way to pick up chicks. Even if he doesn't stick with it, he will have that peripheral benefit. LOL
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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