***Riiing*** Jingles my cellpone.

"Mom?" Says El Brato, "Where are you?"

"I'm at a party," I reply. "Are you at home?"

"You????" Says El Brato horrified. "At a PARTY?" (He is evidently at home.) "But ballistabob is upstairs, fast asleep!!!!!"

"I know, my dear. That's why I'm at a party."

Shocked silence . . .

"So," he finally says. "What time are you coming home?"

"I don't know," I reply. "I'm having too much fun here."

"Mooooooom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He whines.

And that's when I text him a picture of a certain Pirate Girl bedecked in a fake horned Viking helmet, braids and a pair of bucklers as chestplates, in her best Wagnerian Valkyrie impersonation.

I add the following legend: "See what you're missing?"

The kid faints.

Like I've said before. Shocking your kids: Priceless.

PS: My sweetie pie had spent all Saturday taking a certification test and was in no shape to party. However, he was kind enough to kick me out of the house so I could go to the Mel's housewarming party without feeling guilty about it.

He is so awesome.

I think I'll keep him.