belfebe (belfebe) wrote,

Pizza Box Flambé

So last night my sweetie calls me from the road and says "Hey love, can you start dinner? Just begin broiling the hamburgers while I show up with the rest of the stuff."

"Sure!" I say, and promptly turn on the stove on *broil*.

About 10 minutes have elapsed, when I hear the key turning in the door indicating that ballistabob is home.

At the same time, I start smelling something burning, like wood in the fireplace. I turn around and I see smoke coming out of the stove's vent.

"Holy crap!" I think. "What's going on?"

I open the door of the oven, and out come the flames. There is a pizza box on fire inside the broiler.

"Gah!" I yell. "Who left a pizza box in the oven?"

"Not me!" ballistabob yells back and adds. "Where's the fire extinguisher?"

"Isn't it by the fireplace?" I reply, trying to figure out whether to wait till the stupid box finish burning inside my stove, or see if I can take it out somehow.

And of course, every time I open the oven, the flames come out again.

"Crap!" says Bob. "We left the fire extinguisher at Pennsic!"

"!#@*Y))(&&^!" Is my response.

To make a long story short, I put on a large pair of oven mittens, pulled the half burnt box out of the oven, and dunked it in the sink full of water just as ballistabob showed up, water spritzer in hand.

I even managed not to set myself ablaze.

Of course, by now the entire upper floor was full of smoke and our eyes were watering.

The good news? We proved once and for all that the batteries to the fire alarm were still working. The darned thing went "Bleep, bleep," over and over for quite a while and, believe me, it was intensely reassuring.

We ended up having leftover sushi and a sandwich in the deck before taking off to "Alle Psallite." And since we had left the windows open, most of the smoke was gone when we came back.

We also discovered that the culprit had been one of El Brato's friends. He will certainly be bopped on the head as soon as we catch sign of him.

Who leaves a pizza box, with pizza in it, inside an oven?

Only a teen male will do.

It is amazing that they survive to adulthood at all.

Le sigh.
Tags: family, random
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